I’d like to let you know about our August meeting, in South Tyneside:-
South Shields: Thursday 19th AUGUST (6-9pm)
Venue: Age Concern (ACTS) Dora Dixon House, 29 Beach Road / corner of Anderson Street, South Shields NE33 2QU. Thanks once again to Age Concern for their invaluable support. Download the PDF reminder flyer for this meeting here.
We look forward to seeing everybody who can make it along!
Our other meetings across the region should start again in September. We will let you know as soon as things are fully confirmed via email and on the website. If there are any amendments or additions to our email contact list, please let me know.
I thought this short article about relationships and AD/HD might make for a good discussion topic at some point! It’s even got a happy ending, probably for the benefit of American readers!
“My Darling, My Dopamine.”
“Adults with ADHD need the stimulation of dopamine hits because our brains aren’t like other people’s. In relationship terms, this sometimes means we stir up drama to feel. We become addicted to high levels of stimulation in bad relationships, and, in healthy ones, we feel suffocated.”
Before I married, I dated. A lot. I’d fall head over heels, and then, when we settled into a normal relationship, I’d start acting out, stirring drama. I’d try to add excitement to the relationship – in the form of nitpicking so that we’d argue, or by distancing myself so that he’d chase me again.
If he wasn’t fed up with me, I’d detach and feel nothing. Sometimes I wouldn’t even bother breaking up – I’d simply disappear. But if he was fed up with me and wanted out, I’d dissolve into heartbreak. I’d write him letters; I’d sit in the dark and sob. I’d feel an oddly delicious pain that lasted until another guy caught my eye.
With the help of therapy and medication, I began to see a way to have a healthy relationship through radical openness. I met a man with whom I clicked. He was so different from me that he was like a fascinating, new species, yet he understood me. It was terrifying, but I took a flying leap into a new pattern — I was myself.
Over time, the ever-changing dynamic created when we risked being authentic took the place of drama. I wasn’t bored or suffocated. My dopamine receptors loved the genuine excitement of discovering new facets of him and me and the relationship.
I regret the years of pain it took to discover this, but I remind myself it was time, plus experience, plus sheer wonderful luck that put him in my path at the time I was ready. There’s nothing to regret about that”.
Adult AD/HD Support Groups North East